Ought My Flatmate Avoid Cleaning Her Teeth at the Kitchen Sink?

The Complainant: Her Perspective

It's audible her rinsing and spitting from my room. I have a visceral reaction to it.

She has been roommates with Gina for two years, since they each went through breakups and needed a new place to live. She’s entertaining and kind, but what bothers her at home is Gina’s propensity to clean her teeth around the house.

She has ADHD and is always juggling several things at once. She tends to misplace her keychain in the door, which Raquel worries about, or forget where she put her toothbrush in the morning.

I will return and find that she has placed it on the edge of the kitchen worktop after using it, which I considers gross, because the kitchen is for cooking, not for oral hygiene routines. It’s where produce get washed and glasses are washed. It ought not to be where Raquel glances and spots a foam trail of paste dripping towards the plughole.

There, Gina displays a further bad habit – she takes water straight from the tap while brushing her teeth. Not once, not twice, but repeatedly a session to rinse out her mouth.

She leans over, sucks water directly from the faucet, moves it around her mouth and expels it. Raquel can hear the entire process from the bedroom, and it causes a strong reaction. I lie there and recoil. Why not just use a container?

I is uncertain if her mouth is touching the tap, but she prefers not to know. It's the identical faucet I employs when she cleans my face and when I fills up my water bottle.

Raquel doesn't think me fussy. It relates to cleanliness, and recognising that common areas demand mutual respect. Brushing your teeth should be limited to the bathroom sink, and performed without converting the faucet into a shared water source.

Gina has said that she'll attempt to stop, but whenever Raquel requests, she stops for about a week and then resumes again.

Living with someone with attention disorders is challenging at the best of times, but at times Raquel feels Gina relies on it as an excuse. I is not perfect, but if someone asks her to change something, she will attempt to consider it. She could make an effort a bit harder.

The Defence: Her View

Living with ADHD is hard, besides, the kitchen is not some sacred food-only zone.

She argues that her roommate is overstating and ignoring the context. Gina sometimes brushes my teeth in the kitchen basin, drinks from the bathroom faucet and leaves my stuff lying around, but this is just typical for living with a brain like hers.

I reside with the condition, and that means getting sidetracked easily. In the early hours before leaving, I will brush my teeth at the same time as putting on my shoes, or preparing my lunch in the kitchen because I is juggling tasks.

The kitchen sink has water flow and drains just like the bathroom sink, and it everything goes in the identical pipes. It’s not, as Raquel thinks, some sacred exclusive-use zone.

I cleans the basin afterwards – I isn't leaving spit floating around. And, in fact, the kitchen sink likely gets cleaned more frequently than the bathroom. Gina also does not do this daily. It's only evidence if Gina forgets my toothbrush on the side, which I shouldn’t do but her mind overlooks to return it occasionally.

Regarding the faucets, many people consume water from them. Gina was raised practicing this. My brother and Gina would always brush our teeth like this. To Gina, it’s commonplace to clean your mouth out by sipping from the faucet. Filling up a cup every time seems like unnecessary admin.

I does not put my entire mouth around the tap, I just sort of hovers, or angles the flow towards me and catches it. The way she pictures it, it’s like Gina am a feline with a saucer, lapping it clean.

Gina prefers to clean thoroughly, so I does take around multiple rinses, which might sound too much, but it means my teeth are clean.

Bathrooms are not sterile laboratories, and microbes are everywhere. Unless she is bleaching the faucet daily, we are equally exposed to bacteria in the bathroom.

Coping with the condition is hard. Additionally, I might list things Raquel does that irritate Gina: each person has annoyances, but I tolerates them because we share a home.

I cannot promise that she will change. I has tried not to move about brushing her teeth, but she keeps forgetting.

Outside Opinions

Should Gina Cease Ignoring Her Concerns Away?

Some argue that Raquel should understand that housemates already share germs just by cohabiting. Sipping from the tap isn’t unhygienic – even if Gina drank on it – because the liquid is on the interior of the pipe.

However it sounds as if she believes her ADHD gives her a free pass. Gina should acknowledge her discomfort and try to change her habits. Also, washing after cleaning your teeth washes away the fluoride – you should just spit.

Some readers note that her discomfort at what she sees as innocuous habits is about more than oral hygiene. If she changes her routines, Raquel will quickly find issue with something else.

It seems as if this living arrangement has reached its limit. Gina is right that in shared spaces we must make accommodations, but Gina is refusing to respect a reasonable request from her flatmate.

This is less about cleanliness than about consideration of boundaries. Using from the faucet is fine, if there’s no physical mouth contact. But leaving a brush on the kitchen sink is unacceptable – period.

If Raquel can learn to work with her ADHD, she can show willingness to adapt. Also, not rinsing after brushing her teeth means Gina will keep the advantages of the toothpaste and solve two problems in one.

Now You Be the Judge

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